How to Change Your Mindset for Personal Growth and Success
Mindset is a powerful force that can significantly shape lives. It can influence everything from relationships, careers, overall happiness and enjoyment of life. Some people seem fixed in a negative bias or mindset which doesn’t allow them to see the other side of things from a more positive perspective. Staying stuck in negativity allows fears to feed. By feeding the fear it grows bigger, just like adding more kindling to a fire. Fear left unchecked swiftly conflagrates into excessive worry, over thinking and constant ruminations over what if scenarios. The what ifs, coupled with catastrophizing thinking can lead to complete paralysis and an inability to make decisions or even trust oneself. Getting stuck in a negative mindset robs your ability to seek opportunities and see reasonable solutions. Fear keeps the cycle going which reinforces a pattern of thinking, feeling and behaving that soon becomes habit.
The key to unlocking a more fulfilling life lies not in changing your circumstances but in changing how you think, feel and act towards them. Shifting your mindset can be the catalyst for personal growth, success, and lasting happiness. Such growth needs a lot of practice to develop the mind in a new way; to steer the mind away from negativity or a fixed mindset as its sole default. You can learn to teach your mind how to connect to a growth mindset instead.
Understanding Mindset
Renowned psychologist Carol Dweck developed her theory of a “fixed mindset” vs. a “growth mindset.”
- Fixed Mindset: Believing that your abilities and intelligence are static and cannot be changed.
- Growth Mindset: Believing that your abilities and intelligence can be developed through hard work, perseverance, and learning.
In her theory, she goes on to explain that at the core of mindset transformation is the understanding that our thoughts shape our reality. If you see challenges as obstacles rather than opportunities for growth, you’re likely stuck in a fixed mindset. On the other hand, a growth mindset enables you to embrace challenges, learn from failure, and continuously evolve.
The Importance of Changing Your Mindset
Changing your mindset is crucial for personal development. A negative or limited way of thinking can hold you back, while a positive and open mindset can open doors.
The case of Sheila and Lisa
Sheila doesn’t like the place she works because she doesn’t feel valued, and her good work oftentimes goes unnoticed by her superiors. The work is not stimulating and her attempts to secure a promotion have been turned down. She desperately wants to apply for other jobs, but she fears she won’t be able to find anything suitable and she would only end up feeling disappointed. She reasons that things in her life don’t work out for her. Life has certainly proven this fact to her time and time again. Before she evens tries, Sheila feels overwhelmed at the task of getting her resume together and going for interviews. She decides to stay at her job and grin and bear it.
Lisa also works with Sheila and feels the same way. Lisa recognizes that her employer does not know how to motivate, incentivize or provide any words of encouragement. After many attempts to bring this observation forward to senior management, Lisa decides that to grow in her career she must move on. Lisa knows finding work in her field will be difficult, so she takes steps to ensure her resume speaks to her many accomplishments and skills. While Lisa, is nervous about leaving her job, she is also excited about the prospect of learning new skills. Lisa believes things always work out for her and this has been her experience. Lisa has learned what doesn’t work for her professionally and uses this learning as an opportunity to ensure the next place she goes has supportive leadership.
They way in which Sheila and Lisa view themselves and the world around them has a profound impact on how they each approached this challenge. People with a limited mindset (Sheila) often feel defeated by setbacks, while those with a growth mindset (Lisa) see setbacks as learning opportunities. The ability to adopt a mindset that embraces change and sees challenges as stepping stones is a game changer.
Steps to Change Your Mindset
Breaking down the steps towards cultivating a shift in mindset is easy. What can be difficult is practicing them continuously until they become your new default mode.
Some steps include;
- Acknowledge your current mindset: Recognize if you’re operating with a fixed mindset in certain areas of your life.
- Challenge negative thoughts: Start questioning your self-limiting beliefs and replace them with positive, empowering thoughts.
- Practice gratitude: Focus on the things you are grateful for to shift your perspective toward the positive.
- Set growth-oriented goals: Break down big goals into smaller, achievable steps, celebrating progress along the way.
- Surround yourself with positive influences: Engage with people who inspire and encourage you to be your best self.
- Embrace failure as a lesson: Understand that failure is not the end but an opportunity to learn and grow.
I’ve worked with many clients who struggle to adopt a growth mindset. However, by following these six steps consistently most of my clients discovered they could learn to shape their minds in this way. They also understand that the original negative mindset or default programming still exists, but the more they practiced, the easier it became for them to switch mindsets.
Overcoming Common Obstacles
Will this be easy? No. There are so many obstacles that seem to get in the way. Fear of failure, fear of judgment, criticism, anxiety over the unknown and stepping out of comfort zones. After all, who would you be without your negative self telling you what a bad idea something is. Or your internal critic always screaming in your ear that you are not good enough. The internal dialogue and constant pull from parts can be exhausting. Your logical side makes a lot of sense but, your emotions tell a different story. Your fear, apprehension, low self-worth, low self-esteem makes moving forward seem impossible.
I spend a lot of time with clients helping them listen to these parts of themselves to seek first to understand their message and then to help them learn a different narrative. A quote that really resonates with me is this, “If it doesn’t challenge you, it doesn’t change you”. I have simplified this quote to say “Challenges, change you”. In my life I have had many trials such as divorce, death, loss and a cancer scare. Each challenge was hard and painful, but I also grew tremendously from the experience. I know myself better now and I am more confident with myself because I know I can grow and learn from hardships.
You see growth happens when you are challenged. Change comes when you step into your uncomfortable zone, into your pain and when you have the courage to fully immerse yourself in your anxiety. Yes, I know that doesn’t sound like fun times, however by embracing discomfort and leaning into it you don’t have to fear it. You can learn from it. You can learn to reframe fear, worry and anxiety as opportunities because what waits for you on the other side is freedom, happiness and the discovery of your true and authentic self.
We are meant to learn and keep learning. To grow and keep growing. To suffer and endure and to live this human life we have been given, and we deserve happiness. You will find little peace and happiness when your mindset is fixed. You can change because you can learn. It’s a process and it does require persistence, conviction and desire. It is possible to unlock a new way of thinking so start with the six steps outlined above and celebrate your small wins daily. My challenge to you is for 30 days try these steps and notice what happens. Bring awareness to your thoughts and where your mind naturally defaults to. If you struggle, that’s okay. Keep going. Believe in yourself and you will be amazed at what you can accomplish.
If you would like help to get started, consider booking an appointment with us!
Written for Mind Body Soul Integrative Clinic